i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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