are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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