mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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