I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
