4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
