I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
