Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
