your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
