why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
