I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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