Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
