i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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