i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
