At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
wanna go halves on a baby?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
