she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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