gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
