I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Randomize
