Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
