Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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