They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
