My nipple is on Facebook.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
please don't ironically join a cult
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