I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
