through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
