I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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