with your own penis?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
