problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Randomize
