somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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