Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
