Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
