i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I can tuck mytits in my pants
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
