I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
