honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
