he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize