I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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