dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Randomize
