laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
