i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
