i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
