you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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