I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
