he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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