you have to choose: penises or morals?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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