I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
