this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
this is an emotional support booty call
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
