hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
