Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
