someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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