Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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