I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
