how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
