Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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