Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize