We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
