Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
