I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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