I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
