A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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