the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
