she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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