I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm sobbing to NWA
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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