oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
