Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
