he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
