my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
