At least make sure they are 18
Why
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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