No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
