If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize