It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
