were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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