So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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