we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
