I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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